Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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