is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
