I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
