i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Plan B is the new Plan A
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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