I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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