don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
