Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
