We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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