break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
