oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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