dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
