I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think people are normalizing furries
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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