If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
