I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
