What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
sarcasm needs its own font
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize