Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
