It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
