I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
