He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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