More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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