The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
