I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
