she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
