girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
as a side note pls kill me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
