I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
