I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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