ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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