so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
