I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
