I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone shattered a urinal.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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