I think I am morally bankrupt
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
