walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We had to coat check the pizza.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
