I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
