Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
