Umm I'm too high to move.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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