Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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