I bet he comes in French.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
