I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
