He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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