You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
