This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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