nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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