Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
