I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
