you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
