did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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