i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
