The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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