She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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