Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
