I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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