Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
"it" just moved
I just saw a hot homeless man
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
