Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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