You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
