im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
