If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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