Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
