right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
