it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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