So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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