I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
