Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
