I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize