Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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